new bloggy stuff (for me, the inept)

K. I haven't been posting pictures with my blogs because we have discovered that I can't get the signal w/o Erroll's computer. I blog in the am, when they are still sleeping, so don't hook the two together then. I will attempt to upload some onto past posts, so if you want to look back at the last few (since we got here) you'll see some...hopefully.

Also, I found out how to post the blogs that I'd built in text-edit. Prior to this, I'd been typing them up in the am in text-edit, then retyping into blogger. When I tried to copy into "compose" it wouldn't take. Just figured out to use "Edit Html" instead of compose. Buh! Yay, for me.

Beach

Donde este la playa? - Where is the beach? CubE, who from now on, wishes to be called by his real name, Erroll, was very eager to learn.

We finally got it together to go to the beach (back to the house, lock up computers, fill up on water, boil some more, change, coax boy out of hammock chair, slather up with sunscreen). It's a hike that takes about 7 minutes, but is a little scary. The drivers here are LOCO (CRA AZY!). At the lake, we took extra care to teach our kids to walk on the right side of the road (a rule that makes sense because there are no sidewalks, and one can see the on-coming traffic that might otherwise hit you). Here, there are no sidewalks, the road in many places drops off into deep gullies where the water must run in the rainy season, the roads curve, and have baseball sized, sharp rocks in them that both the walker and driver tries to avoid. Add to that that the only smooth part of the road, the place where everyone wants to be is the edge and that they drive very fast here. So, a blind corner makes for a horrifying experience for a walker who hears the motor of a bike, car, golf cart or quad (all of which are commonly driven on the roads here).

I'm not sure we're ready for bikes yet. I think we may wait 'til tomorrow, when the idea sinks in a bit better for the kids who think I'm paranoid because I say 15 times/ walk thru gritted teeth "get over to the side of the road!!!"

What a weird Mommy, am I. "The beach" to me, is a little bit of a chore. I remember the excitement of going to Ma Me O beach, by our cabin. There, the sand is beautiful, the beaches well kept, the water warm and shallow and without the hinderance of rocks. I provided that experience for my kids for years, even tho I don't care for heat, sand in my cheesies, and having to lug all the goods; towels, food, water etc down from the car. So, too, was my enthusiasm (that of a parent providing and enjoying it vicariously thru their offspring's young eyes) yesterday when we set out to the beach. The light came on when we got there and Erroll stated "Common, this is our first swim in the ocean!!". My heart sang. That we could provide that experience is well worth the drudgery of gathering and hauling stuff (even the sand in my teeth).

The waves here, in a rather big cove, are not Hawaii sized, but decent enough to surf. There were quite a few out there, but not enough that swimmers and surfers collided. I worried a bit, having to look into the sun to find the heads I thought were mine (Mom, I can only imagine your worry with the 8 heads you had to find with my cousins, sibs and I!). They stayed together (!!!!!), body surfed, came back grinning and Cubsay dragged me out to "teach" me to body surf. The waves were about 10" tall at most. Fun.

If we get adventuresome enough, we may walk the beach around one of the points. Talking to an american rental house owner, I found out the pink sand beach is just around the point to the south. It will require some research, tho, apparently low tide is the only time you can get around there and I'm not familiar with how long a window that gives us.

The day ended with us looking for a place to eat. The only open place was Marlin Bill's, which altho has decently priced food in our world, is most likely the most expensive. It turned out to be an excellent choice, because of the location. Up a steep hill, it overlooks the canopy of trees, toward the west. We arrived in the daylight, and sat, watching the beautiful sunset (maybe 10 minutes total), from an open balcony where the cross breeze was enough to take out the heaviness of the day's air. It was a lovely meal too. I asked Bill out to compliment his salmon (only celiac friendly meal), with asparagus and hollandaise with rice. Perfectly fresh (wild, I'm told), yummy asparagus that comes from "San Jose, the land of eternal spring". Perfect end to an interesting day.

Tripping around

Colones- Costa Rican currency. 1000 C= approx. 5.1 USD.

This, we learned quickly when traipsing down to Cafe de Paris, where they sell internet. I'd been told by Raineer , who's very suited to his job as hotel manager (because I'd talked with him on the phone,and he remembered me, I got a big hug), that we could have the signal for $20/month but it turns out they now sell it for the same price per week. Ouch. My budget just took a hit. Although, now that I know how to convert, and have looked at the price tags on the food we bought on the way from Liberia, I can see that store food is far less expensive than home.

My experience with language grew a little when, while paying for some delicious pasteries (yes, my celiac system is paying for that, but hey, it was a bakery and we haven't done much grocery shopping yet....irresistible). And yet again when a man came to the open window across from me with a watermelon to sell to the tico girl behind the counter. I asked how much and she pointed to his truck, just outside the store. When we were done with the bakery, I took my internet ticket outside, and negotiated my way thru paying for a lovely big melon (with accent over the O). That's been the biggest hit so far. Oreos and melon on the porch. mmmm mmmm, slurp, mmmm.

Next, back into the hotel lobby, where Raineer set up my computer with internet and I sat down to copy all of the information written that morning on my balcony. The early am writing is good. Our house faces West, so the sun doesn't hit the front, where the top floor balcony and lower, covered patio with hammock and hammock chair hang (needless to say, we all fight, in a passive sort of way, to be in one of those, rather than the comfortable, but not-the-hammock wooden chairs.

Afterward we went to along a strip mall where there are a string of "OOOOO!" stores. Hand-carved turtles, woven bags, art gallery; all local stuff. My mind's a-whirl with thoughts of finding other local artists, undiscovered, for the up-and-coming online fairtrade portion of Barnswallow Corner.

Having little sleep the 2 previous nights, and travelling, and adjusting to the heat, there was little to do but loll about, eat just a little here and there because of the heat, and find stuff. We found the bank which was closed, so we tried to use the abm, to no avail. Today's missions include catching the bank open, going to the little market, phoning Jessica from Del Mar Academy, renting some bikes ($10/day, no deals, even tho Javier says "I will give you good deal", with a big smile).

Travel Day

We knew we were in for a long day.  The principal of the kids' school had told me that the route thru San Jose, the capital, was the one they took, but it was a little scary at night.  Most flights into Costa Rica require that you stay a night in the city that you land (if going on from there long distance), Sand Jose or Liberia, either on the way there or on the way home.  This is because the driving trip to Nosara takes 4 hours. or the flights don't connect well.  So we chose to fly into Liberia.  I'd asked CubE if he'd thought the 4 hour trip on a bumpy road in a suspect vehicle (we'd no idea if we'd have an old school bus or what ) or if we should take a shuttle fvan.  He really wanted the bus, funny boy.  Thought bumping along for 4 hours would be fun.

We ended up accepting the gracious offer of a ride from Craig, who' send his driver, Daniel.

The 12 hours that we spent in airplanes and airports (Calgary-Houston 3 hours, Houston airport 5 hours, Houston-Liberia 3 hours), Daniel met us with a "Margot Soltice" sign and a big smile.  That humid, night air met us right off the plane and led us into an open walled airport.  Customs let us right  thru.  For the 2 1/2 hours we attempted to communicate.  Poor Daniel. I think he thought we might have more Spanish than we did.  His face fell a little when I said we didn't have much.  Regardless, we both attempted, and for the most part found ways to ask questions and tell a little of ourselves.

I thought I was learning a few new words, but honestly can't remember any of it, I was so tired.  Added to that, I think my stomach is reacting to the stress of such a long trip, and without Sunshine, who is very good at leading me thru logistical systems.  At one point, I asked Daniel to stop the van (not an old rust-bucket, but a fairly new vehicle), to get a breath of fresh air.  I thought I might loose my cookies, but only needed a small break from the winding, cirving, rolling, bumpy roads.  I wanted to tell Daniel that his driving was excellent and that it was my funny stomach, but was only able to show my appreciation thru giving a nice tip and tell him his driving (chauffer) is "muchos beunos".

The evening's adventures were not over when we go to the house.  IT's better than we thought it would be, and we started to settle in right away, when CubE called me downstairs to get rid of a spider.  Now, he might get some ribbing at home from his friends for this one, but this weren't no spider from home. I didn't even know what to do with the thing.  Normally, I'd grab a cup and a piece of paper (which I did, then laughed at the inefficiency of my little cup and wondered whether this monster would bite me thru the paper).  I ended up smacking it with CubE's shoe.  He didn't like that too much either:).  Next time I saw his shoes, they were upside-down on the posts of a kitchen chair. Cubsay and I laughed at him, then did the same thing with our shoes.  2 seconds after disposing of the spider, I freaked when I saw a cockroach the size of a walnut (Marn, I don't think you'd do well here after all!)  scurrying across the kitchen counter.  I got him with a show and another with the garbage can wehn I slid it out from under the sink.  We all shook our bedding out very well, and Cubsay slept with me.   

time to sit back

Now, there's time.  I was recently reminded to sit back and make life's experiences be about the people with which you have them.  Time can mean a number on a clock, a place within one's life that is measured by the years before and, hopefully, after now.  The times that are the most import are memories made with others.  

Speakers at Jerry's memorial instilled this message, so it's on my mind.  Lists are what I sat down to write about.  Check off this and that, so that I can feel better about the trip that starts at 4 am.  Instead, I want to chill, and put aside the ever-increasing, never-ending list of TO-DOs.  So, I sit in the living room at River's, surrounded by laughing, joking friends while I write this.  Cubsay plays with a hermit crab (loving that some of us are a little freaked by it's touch), River giggles, Sunshine sits, laid back, Stiffy adds her jokes and giggles too.  The boys are in their glory, plugged in to the tv in the other room, but we can hear them ribbing each other from here.

The conversation turns to when we should head back to the hotel (we're in Calgary) to put our heads down.  Sunshine, my golden Knight (so organized) figures 10, to bed at 11 for a 5 hour sleep, then up and attem.  We'll have breakfast, I hope, at the airport.  The flight isn't until 7am, but we like to be early.  

See?  Can't help ourselves.  Perhaps planning WITH people can be remembered time.  

Fat Rabbit-Cubsay's post

Hello, my other little bunrab friends. Especially ze vones of Rory and Camilla. My name is Fat Rabbit and I am currently on my vay to Costa Rica. As you may see here  ->,

I am not in Costa Rica. But however, I am planted on ze door handle of our hotel room in Calgary and am finding it very uncomfortable. I am extremely thrilled vith ze plane rides zat I vill be on tomorrow. First, I vill be travelling through Houston, Texas, zen through Liberia, Costa Rica and a driver from ze house zat ve vill be staying at vill pick us up and take us for a sree-four hour drive down to our house.

Anyvays, throughout my adventure, I vill be posting many pictures and updating zis on frequent occasion. I hope you vill toon in and keep track of my adventure.

Yours truly, Fat Rabbit

ting-ting-a-ling

It's the standard fair around here, this Christmas.  Various doors get closed, each with mysterious noises behind them, and voices denying entry vehemently.  The dogs snooze in the back hall, happy to be in, out of the cold.  The tree glitters as we bounce from room to room, breathlessly muttering hopes of getting done in time, and that everyone will like their gifts.  Sunshine's taking his turn in the bedroom, Alabama's Christmas CD playing at top volume.  Family and friends are on our minds, as we think about what they could be doing now (perhaps they're more organized?).  There's a big ham cooking in the oven, waiting for a glazing of maple, brown sugar and orange juice (CubE says I make the BEST ham:).  The cubs are all actually getting along.  Cubob is home, sharing his positive energy.  Cubsay just finished cleaning her mountain of dishes from last minute baking...messy, that last minute thoughtfulness.  Sigh.  

run around

I moaned to a friend's husband today about the frustration of having so much to do and found one of those brick wall responses that none of us like to hear. He basically shut me down with a "poor you" and a list of his own worries. It's at times like that I want to hang up and find someone else to listen to my woe-begon stories. But later, when I had some time to sit and think, I decided that despite his obvious noncompliance (not to mention the fact that I most likely won't try to bend his ear to my plights again) I think he did me a favour.

I'd decided early on in the Costa Rica trek that one of my "things" (you know, stuff you work on in life) would be to let go. I know that in order to grow I must stop wasting time stressing about the details. I know that my personality allows for creativity, taking care of the big picture, warmth toward my fellow man. Details are great, but not very controllable.

Take my attempt at getting all of the kids' and my chloroquine (anti-malarial drugs) for the trip for example. First, I booked an appointment for myself with my doctor. While sitting in her office, I had the sudden realization that she, having not seen the kids ever, wouldn't want to write a prescrip. for them. ak! The meds are supposed to be taken 2 weeks prior to going to a malaria-prone area. This was exactly 2 weeks prior. So, I book it to the pharmacy and ask them for the kids' pediatritian's #. Of course, he doesn't want to write a prescrip. over the phone either, so I book an appointment for 1 week prior to leaving (and 3 days before Christmas, leaving no wiggle room!).

Turns out this was a good thing to do. The man is wonderful. After getting hugs all around, giving him a Christmas present (he's been with us for 18 years and is such a good doctor, I love seeing him). He writes the prescription, but when I dropped it off at a grocery store pharmacy, they tell me that it's very wonky, the amounts don't jibe with the amounts in the standard size pill. And, the standard sized pill can't be broken up to make the prescribed amount.

2 days later, and I have taken the prescrip. to another pharmacy who knew that it was written to accomodate my kids' weights and that it's to be made into a liquid. So, instead of giving the same amounts to a 92 lb girl and a 169 lb boy/man, he's done the right thing. Unfortunately, I can't buy the whole amount because it won't last. The last bit has to be picked up between getting back from Costa Rica and going to Palm Dessert (oh! have I not mentioned that? perhaps because I'm spoiled rotten. Mom and Dad are shipping all 5 of us there for a little over a week in Feb/Mar).

Long story longer, at each of these discoveries, I felt like I was having a panic attack. In retrospect, I wish I could see the end result which could've turned out worse, but even if it did, likely wouldn't be all that bad.

Letting go.

Count Down

9 more sleeps.  

Borrowed a computer today and had a lesson on PC.  Thanks, Marn.

Getting the suitcase out tomorrow and starting to pack.

Monday, we get more shots (Hep A and B) then go to the kids' doctor for prescripts for antimalarial drugs.  Spend time making the last few purchases like OFF (where the heck does one buy that stuff in central Alberta in mid December???) and some snacks for the plane. Pick up C.

Tuesday, I work my last shift for a couple months @ the gallery .

Wed, do laundry, pack, wrap :p, and cook a ham for our little family.

Thursday, Merry Christmas! (and pick up mosquito nets from Smelley...thanks hon!)

Friday, clean and cook for Sunshine.

Saturday, go to a funeral....

funding fun and frustrations

I want to mention again, that the purpose of this blog is to document for posterity and to help others who're planning something of the same type of journey. 

Back a couple of weeks you may remember, I went and pitched to both the Rotary Club and the Lions Club. The Rotary Club had been waiting for me to come to another meeting.  This, I know because I called for an update on my status as recipient for funding.   They were pleased to hear that I was thinking of joining and had expressed that if I did, there may be a lot more funding than if I were to be asking as someone just off the street, so to speak.  

The fellow, Stephen, that helped me with getting an appointment to speak is a "champion" of a project in Belize. He's encouraged me to become a member and reap the benefits of being a Rotary member.  I like the idea, and hope I can keep up with the meetings (5 am wake up). 

So, the frustration:  They don't have anything for me at this time.  "Join, and get the ball rolling for funding that way".  

I have yet to hear from the Lions club, but will call in the next day or two.  On the way out of that meeting, the fellow that I sat next to, and who explained the goings on at the meeting, pssst-ed me and pulled me aside.  From his own wallet, he pulled $100 and told me to buy some seeds and tools.  GRIN.  

Thursday afternoon the fun came when 9 of us popped approximately 140 bags of popcorn in my kitchen to raise funds for school supplies for the public school in Nosara.  The Cubs and Cubsay's confirmation class held a "fortune popcorn sale" for a movie Friday afternoon on their last day before Christmas holidays. Each popcorn bag had stapled into the folded top an inspirational saying or humorous line, such as "Man who run from car get tired" and "I see another bag of popcorn in your future".  Pastor Tim came in with a $100 dollar bill from an anonymous donator at the church. 

The popcorn reaped a total of $254.00 CAD:)  The 100 mentioned above, $114 from popcorn and $40 from the Student Union's Santa pictures.  Thank you so much, all who dedicated their time; 3rd year confirmation class, Pastor Tim, Mrs W, Mrs. B and all their great kids.  Also, once again, a big thanks to Mrs. L at the high school for supporting our efforts.

We should be able to buy approximately 200 packages of pencil crayons!

Jerry

My introduction to the man that was, and remains in our memory, Jerry, has to start with my introduction to River, his daughter.  I was laid out on a log that acted as a bridge over the little creek that runs between our two families' cabins at the lake.  A summer buddy, a local native girl, and I were "snagging" fish (catching fish with a string and a safety pin).

"What the HECK are you doing??" came from just at the other end of the log, along the path.  I looked up and saw the biggest smile I'd ever seen.  Above the smile were incredulous eyes, demanding a response.

I remember wondering not at the curiosity and outspokenness of this girl, who was  about my age, but at that smile.  It was so big.  It wasn't long before I met the maker of that smile.  I want to credit her, now 30 years my friend, for her smile, but I know where it came from.  We spent a lot of time together, she at my place and me at hers.  When I was introduced to her dad, Jerry, I immediately placed the whys and how of her great grin.  Jerry stood 6 foot something, with a thick head of hair, and a ready smile. I don't remember that first of a gazillion meetings, but I know that he would have teased me, like he did every time I've seen him since, and laughed with a twinkle in his eye. He liked to ask me each time we saw each other "How tall are you??" and then proceed to whip out his handy tape measure and see that I hadn't grown from the last time...still 5' 1 1/2".  River would have stood by and grinned too, knowing his teasing would be well-received because of his obvious good intent and nature.  

I knew Jerry-at-the-lake.  I think there was quite a lot of carry-over into his city-life existence, but he was at his best, in my humble opinion, at the lake.  That little cabin was an old farm house, dragged onto the place some 40 years ago by the previous owners.  When I first visited the place, Jerry had just planted the spruce trees, now 30' high.  He was a putterer.  Plant the trees, paint the house (an event that happened every 5 years, it seemed, despite his fear of heights), dig a new biffy hole, paint the biffy, fix the deck, replace the fire place...the list goes on. 

All this while working at a cabinet maker and then at a marble counter-top store.  His work didn't define the man, but I know that they were fortunate to have had him work there.  His personality didn't allow for much feeling down. Since his retirement, the building and fixing activity around the cabin has increased. 

Jerry and his wife, Bernice, both of whom I considered from the start another set of parents, have always been very gracious hosts.  In fact, I hardly ever felt like a guest.  The food flowed endlessly, there has always been a stream of people coming and going from the cabin.  That little place, with it's 2 bedrooms and not much more than 1000 sq feet, often housed 9 people, and spilled over into tents and campers and sometimes even cars.  The energy, laughter and friendship flowed from him, making all feel welcome.  

Jerry was a proud man, but humble at the same time.  His family was important to him, and a person could tell he took parenting seriously, even after his 4 children, Steve, Grant, River and David left the nest and found their own paths and made their own families. 

From stories that River has shared, I know that those family values will be taken far beyond his doorstep, into the lives of his children and grandchildren, who will remember him as "Papa".  Some months ago, River told me the story of her pet rabbit dying when she was young.  She recalled her dad coming in with a bulky jacket and that twinkle, that he couldn't hide.  When she saw the jacket wiggling and moving, the twinkle became a full-blown grin, and a little head peeked out of the front of his jacket.  It was a new bunny!

Now, at the end of his life, those that knew and loved him can all sit back and remember the best of Jerry.  I'm sure he struggled like other men during the recession, but held tight to the family role of providing and remaining strong. That family cabin remains in family hands to enjoy well after his departure.  His struggle with cancer left him weakened in body, but emotionally and intellectually connected to the end. We'll all miss his presence, laughter, goofy wit, and most of all that smile that warmed our hearts every time. 

The barter system...hockey for smooth legs

I don't know that I need to express how much pain there was today.  The cool thing is that Aiden's Mom knows how to barter.  Her son wants a goalie net painted on his bedroom wall, and her friend wanted smooth, hassle-free legs for Costa Rica.  RIP, STRIP and a few screams later and I own 1/2 of that deal.  Aiden will be receiving the other 1/2 when I get a free evening or two in the next couple weeks.  Thanks, friend.  (really, has anyone ever hauled off and hit you for doing that???)

Beautiful gift from a great guy

That's my Dad.  Isn't he great?  The door-bench he's sitting on was designed and built by him.  We received delivery of it today.  

I'd been looking for back hall bench for eons.  The prerequisites were a bench with arms, a tall back, old-fashioned, hooks, a mirror, a storage compartment and a shelf on top.  Oh, and it had to fit in this small space, between the hallway and the stairway.  I saw one very much like this, custom built in a little shop across from where I now work.  $900!  That was only after shopping for benches for a couple of years, to no avail.

When I asked if Dad would make what I wanted (never doubted he could), we discussed finding a plan for him to follow.  None of the plans I looked at, and I did look at quite a few, were really what I had in mind.  This happens often for me.  I can visualize something, ask in many stores and nobody's heard of anything like it.

So, Dad went to the Architectural clearing house (self explanitory, cool store) and found this little door.  Someone had already replaced a couple of the panels with mirrors!  :)  Dad cut the bottom of the very small door (great for the space) off, and bought some beautiful wood and tinkered away at it.  I received reports here and there, and even had private viewings.  

The attention to detail is awesome. Helping to hold up the arms there are 2 spindles on each side, fashioned after the Arts and Crafts era.  The glass door knob is from a little antique store in Red Deer, from a visit with my good friend, River.  (thinking about you, Hon).  Dad picked up the hinge, door knob plate, and hooks and painted the first two black to match the black hooks.The door pieces and the sides of the bench are painted white, while the rest of it is built of Alder. On top of the arms, and holding the uprights for the arms in place, there's what's called a "through tenon".   The little shelf on top is wide enough for a coffee cup for when we're putting on our shoes to go out onto the deck.  The seat lifts up to expose a little compartment, big enough for gloves and mitts.  The whole thing is just deep enough that it doesn't get in the way in our small boot room that has 5 doorways and is a pass thru in the middle all of them.  

Oh!  And did I mention?  This project is about making something beautiful from a throw-away.  Someone, thankfully, thought to spare this little door, and the little handle, intead of tossing into the dump.  My resourceful father sought it out, and saw the potential.  Too cool.

I love it!  Thanks Dad, it's a wonderful gift, especially because I know that it was built with such loving intention.

School supply fund raising

Sometimes flying by the seat of one's pants is nerve wracking, and sometimes, like today it works. I've long accepted that this is how I operate, and so I celebrate when it works. 

The beginning of November I was to contact the school, find out when the school council meeting is, send CubE to it to present the idea that we want to do a fund raiser to buy some school supplies for a public school in Nosara.

OOPS.  I totally missed the mark, and didn't get that ball rolling. To my credit, there was a little on my plate (3 jobs, one of them @ night, physiotherapy another night, a trip to plan and sick kids to tend)  Here we are, Dec 3, and no planned fund raiser. Downside to this is less involvement from the kids for planning.  Upside is that they can still be hands-on in any prep work we have to do.

I did manage to get a vague price on pencil crayons, the items that we thought we'd buy: $1-$2 american.  

Cubsay's confirmation class will be meeting here, on Sunday to have their monthly class, and the Pastor has agreed to discuss the matter with them.  I seem to remember I'd help.  (making that noise cartoon's do when shaking head).  

CubE's idea was to have a hotdog sale, but because we're so late in the game, I'm thinking more along the lines of popcorn sales.  This works into the plans for the school to have a movie on the last day.  We (Cubsay, Pastor, Principal and I, in different convos) have decided that fortune-popcorn would be a good idea.  The confirmation class can put together some fortune/inspirational thoughts, print them, cut them into strips and staple them into the folds in the bag.  $1 is the price.  The goal is $100-$200. Hopefully, we can buy enough pencil crayons for 100 kids.  Think we  can do it?

Study study study

Phew!  Along with the usual running around (groceries, work, laundry, work, dinner, work, kids, work...) I managed to schedule in a mad panic run to parent teacher night to discuss work for the kids to finish prior to and during the trip.  

I was told (ahem) that it was over at 9:00, but at 7:40, that was corrected to 8:00.  AAAAA!  The teachers that I was able to speak to (dragging kids along to each visit...it's their school work after all) were great.  They all had plans to either completely wave the work and exams that they'd normally have to do and substituted at report or the like, or they promised to have modules ready a few days before we break for Christmas.  

Today, I've spoken to a couple core subject teachers that we missed and am awaiting calls from a couple more. The principal came thru yet again, and is emailing all of the kids' option class teachers to tell them to get a hold of me if they need to speak to me.  I don't like to leave it hanging like that, but to tackle getting a hold of them all at this point would be a huge undertaking. Crunch time.